animal_quills | Introduction - new and improved.

Ugh. I was reading my old introduction to Animal Quills, when I was still using the LJ name alastarcrow - and I feel like I've grown and changed so much since I first wrote that little bit about myself. It was exactly a year ago (plus a few days) since I posted the original introduction - and I read it, and it didn't feel like me. So I'm posting a new one, because I feel like I need to address some changes and also because I feel like writing, but I don't really have anything to write about.

I am seventeen now - my birthday is the first of May. I'm excited to be turning 18, but I don't know why, because it's just another year... nothing will really be different... except I'll be "legal". Yay. I'm a senior in high school, and I will graduate May 26th of this year. I play saxophone. I plan on majoring in music when I get to college, but I haven't decided where I want to go yet. I've applied to a couple places, so we'll see what happens.

I consider myself androgynous/genderqueer. I am more comfortable with masculine pronouns, but I don't think I am trans. I toyed around with that label for about two years, and it didn't fit. I don't really want to be male. I just feel that in the male-female spectrum, while my gender encompasses all of the middle part, I lean a bit more toward male than female. I am okay with being called "she" and "her" - it happens all the time, since outwardly, I am female, and sometimes it's just easier to go with the flow than to have to explain slowly and in detail to everybody that while I appear to be a "she", I am actually an "it". I've been called a dyke, but I've also been called "he", and "fag". I have a mohawk, which is traditionally a masculine haircut, and I don't wear makeup or girly clothes, so it confuses people. Which is okay. I am attracted to both males and females - I probably also have the capacity to be attracted to trans/androgynous/genderqueer/whatever people, but I've never met any other than myself in real life. I'm hesitant to apply the label "pansexual", but it seems to be the one that fits the most.

I don't have a religion. I am influenced by many belief systems, but adhere to none.

I am also a scavenger, an animal person. A crow. I have black feathers and a shining beak and claws and beady, calculating little eyes - but it's all in my head. Sometimes I feel wings coming out of my back, and it makes me want to fly. Does that make me crazyyy?

I've always had a fascination with turkey vultures as well, but I don't know if it's my "animal side", so to speak, or just an obsession. I do associate with them as I do with crows, but crow seems to be dominant.

I used to think I was also some sort of canine, but I don't think that means anything. I only had the feeling of big, bulkiness, heavy features. But I've pretty much dismissed that as nothing. This may sound weird, but that "big" feeling I sometimes feel only occurs when I'm feeling very birdy, and I think it's my brain trying to distinguish between feeling little like a crow, like I think I am, and big like a person, which I actually am. I'm not sure if that's it or not, but that seems to be the trend, so it makes sense to me. *shrug*

I'm not worried. Things will work out.

Blah.