leo_the_pard: (Default)
[personal profile] leo_the_pard
I have often heard that therians have their own attitude towards their own territory, different from humans. But what is behind these words? Comparing your behavior with the behavior of your species is, of course, fascinating, but it is much more important to understand why your species behaves this way and not differently. This, as it seems to me, is the key to understanding yourself and is a very important point, to which I will return more than once in my next articles. In this one, I suggest understanding what is behind the concept of territoriality, how animals perceive it and what it is needed for.
 
In my life, I have had to change dozens of different places of residence, so from the height of my experience I would like to share with you my thoughts and observations on this topic, starting with a short excursion into my biography and trying not to tire you too much. Later you will understand what this is about.
 
I spent the first years of my conscious life in a big city, in the same apartment with my adoptive mother, with whom I had a very strained relationship. The pressure from society didn't add to my comfort either, which is why I often ran away to the familiar forest, but not because I was drawn to nature - there were simply no people there. I spent my time no less comfortably in industrial zones - sometimes there were people there, but the main thing was that there were stray cats. I still adore sparsely populated industrial zones and prefer to work there.
 
As a child, I dreamed of living in the wild in Africa so much that I could not imagine my future life any other way. I literally burned with this dream, imagining in my sleep and in reality how I would live in the wild, where there would be no people. For me, it was a desire for freedom, which I simply confused with the need for security. Once someone told me that, "Freedom is not in Africa, freedom is within you," which at that time I did not take seriously, but now I understand how true these words were.
 
In 2011, one of my friends (he knows who) invited me to go hiking with him. Was I scared to do it? Of course, but not too much. As a child, everything was simpler: leaving my territory where I didn't feel safe was not the same as leaving the territory where I do feel safe now. And having a person nearby whom I trust (who is not territorial or less territorial than me and therefore calm) greatly dulls the feeling of fear. Unfortunately, there are no such people left for me now.
 
And so, having freed myself from the oppression of my adoptive mother and moved to a small town (it was also scary to decide on this, but it helped me a lot that other therians I trusted lived next door to me, for which I will always be grateful to them), I settled in a modest garden house, with an area of ​​only 54 sqft. It was an absolutely tiny house with an equally tiny adjacent plot of land. But, strangely enough, I didn't feel uncomfortable there. Yes, I still wanted to build a very large house, but the small area even had its advantages: at least I didn't have to pay huge heating bills in the winter. And I didn't even have to get up from the table to make coffee.
 
Now that we've figured out how this all works, let's get back to where we started:
 
  1. My territory is a place where I feel safe - this is the very basis of territoriality;
  2. My surroundings should be familiar and predictable, my territory needs to be marked. Not necessarily in the way you might think, it is enough to scratch things or rub against them, leaving my scent on them, which I recognize very well. My scent makes the territory cozy;
  3. My territory needs to be protected from strangers, and if this is impossible to do, there is a desire to run away or hide. What to do with this urge - you should decide for yourself;
  4. It does not matter at all where my territory will be, I will feel comfortable anywhere, as long as the point 1 is observed;
  5. The size of the territory should be such as to ensure my survival. There is no need for an overly large territory;
  6. Going beyond your territory is always stressful;
  7. ...but it can be minimized if there is a person next to me whom I trust enough;
  8. Not all familiar places are mine, there are also "less mine" territories, where I feel less safe than at home - it is not binary value. I would gladly give them up, if it were not for the need to get food;
  9. If strange leopards appeared on my territory... I would do everything possible to make sure that they were no longer there. No one from my kintype should live on my territory, except for me and my family. What did you expect? Therianthropy is not worship of a sacred animal, it is about being one. With all its pros and cons.
 
Thus, I can confidently say that I am territorial. Although my territoriality creates a lot of problems for me in life, it absolutely precisely corresponds to the territoriality of my species and there simply cannot be another. Otherwise, I will no longer be me.

leo_the_pard: (pic#17527636)
[personal profile] leo_the_pard
Since this topic is not often mentioned in the therian community, I think it is worth filling this gap. I have always experienced food aggression. I have no idea where it comes from, it has just been there for as long as I can remember. I don't think it is related to any childhood trauma - even during the hungriest times in my country's history, I always had food on the table.

Even as child, I almost never ate at the same table with my mother. I usually ate in my room. My feeding usually looked like this: my mother brought me a plate of food (mostly meat), put it on my table and left. If she disturbed me while I was eating, I would always get angry, but until my teenage years I did not allow myself to growl at her, but I took it out on our dog, who learned that when I was eating, it was better not to even look in my direction. If growling didn't save me from my mother, I would simply leave the food and never return to it, as I couldn't calm down for a long time and specific food would start to be associated with stress, which would completely destroy my appetite. However, when the feeding was over, I would become kind again.

Over time, we were able to come to an agreement, although it was quite difficult. From a moral point of view, my behavior was absolutely not beautiful: she got this food for me and brought it to me, and instead of thanking her, I snap at her. But this is the case when human morality is powerless when faced with animal nature: after she gave me food, it is already my food, which she cannot just take back. Condemning a person (or an animal) for something they cannot change only makes things worse. In any case, I don't remember it ever helping.

So, the problem of feeding me at home was solved, but feeding me in public places turned into an even bigger problem. In the school cafeteria, I usually took a place, at a safe distance from the other children, or, if there were no such places, I simply grabbed a bun and ran into the yard to eat it alone. If other children came too close, I got annoyed and either ran away with the food, or ran away leaving the food, or tried to gobble it up as quickly as possible, growling angrily. And since such situations happened almost daily, I ate rather poorly.

When I started regularly communicating with other therians outside the Internet, it was a big discovery for me that they do not have such pronounced food aggression as I do and can eat relatively calmly even near strangers, without experiencing at least too much discomfort. The way they allow their dogs to beg for food from them was completely unthinkable for me: if my dog ​​came close enough to me while I was eating, believe me, it would not want to do it again. By adopting their behavior, I learned to restrain myself quite well, albeit at the cost of colossal stress.

When I went to my first job, the situation became a little better: I just took takeout food from a local cafe, and went outside, hiding in the bushes nearby, and sometimes dragged it up a tree to eat it in a calm environment lying on a tree branch, like a real wild leopard. I can imagine how strange it was: a person in office clothes gnawing on meat lying on a tree branch (good thing people rarely look up). Of course, I didn't growl at my colleagues, I learned to carefully hide it, but the stress and discomfort didn't go away. Yes, I can control the manifestation of my emotions, but I can't control the fact that they arise.

Once, by the will of fate, I had to live in a dormitory. The rules prohibited eating in the rooms and this became a problem again. Usually, I ate in the kitchen at night when everyone was sleeping, or again took food with me outside, or ate in my room secretly, breaking the rules. If my presence at the common table was necessary, I simply avoided eating, saying that I was not hungry. The day before my departure, I (or rather my roommates) were unlucky: the administrator invited me to the common table. I couldn't get out of it and I couldn't hold back, snapping at someone who extended his hand in my direction to take a slice of bread. I remember the frightened faces of my roommates and the administrator's cry, "Alia, what's wrong with you? I don't recognize you." Fortunately, after that we parted ways forever.

After many years of studying and observing this topic, I have come to some conclusions for myself. The level of stress from interference in my eating directly depends on how much I trust the interfering person. We never had a trusting relationship with my mother, and I trusted our dog even less. I don't trust anyone enough, either people or animals. There is only one exception - my cat, whom I perceive as my cub. The trust between us is almost endless: she does not feel discomfort when I disturb her during her meal, and she is allowed to eat from the same plate with me. Although, of course, I try not to give her food that could be harmful to her.

The same goes for the neighbors' cats and dogs, as well as the animals at my work: they don't growl at me, but they clearly show nervousness if I bother them. Some cats can even snatch food from my hands and run away, snapping at other cats - I used to behave exactly the same way at school. Usually they can just run away, dropping the food - no one is ready to fight to the death for food; any predator can be driven away from its prey if it decides that messing with you is more expensive for itself. Picked-up stray cats are especially prone to this, rather than those that grew up at home and are well socialized. I understand their feelings and just don't bother them.

In my case, it also depends on who is "encroaching" on my food: if it is my friend, it is easier for me to cope with my emotions. If it is someone who can pose a danger to me (for example, my boss or a large dog), it will be more difficult for me, but I will restrain myself as much as possible. With people, in general, I will hold back more, but for a small dog in such a situation, safety is not guaranteed - there is no fear factor and there are no moral brakes. Much, however, depends on the subjective value of food: I will gladly share my cookies or chips even with a stranger, but even the closest people are not allowed to touch my meat. Drinks are not perceived as food at all.

There is no need to explain why animals behave like this. In my case, it clearly has similar reasons. But what about humans? I asked ChatGPT, "Is food aggression common in humans?" - and the neural network answered me that... no. However, I remember well how we were instructed when I was getting a job as a waitress that customers should not be disturbed when they are eating unless absolutely necessary, because it is unpleasant for them. Most likely, food aggression does exist in humans, but it is weakly expressed and suppressed by socialization and upbringing. I have been pretty bad with these things since childhood. However, we should not exclude the fact that if the tendency to it is genetically determined, deviations in one direction or another are likely possible within the population.

Is there any way to fix this? Veterinarians I know say that in the case of dogs this can be fixed by training and socialization. In the case of cats, especially those who have not had the proper socialization experience in a cubhood, things are pretty sad: their instinct is too strong and you can only create a situation where such behavior will be minimized. If you also face a similar problem and consider yourself a canine, perhaps you should seek the help of an animal trainer - there is nothing shameful about this, after all, I once even had to receive medical help from a veterinarian.

But since I am not a dog and it is too late to train me, I do not think that a psychologist or animal trainer will help here. Therefore, I solve this problem in this way: I simply avoid eating near other people, preferring to take food with me, eat in my car or at home. If this is not possible and you need to eat in a crowded place, feeding in the presence of a person you trust can help (if, of course, he or she is aware of this). His calmness is transmitted to me and in this case I can eat even at the food court in the mall, albeit sitting with my back to the wall and looking around restlessly.

I do not insist that my solution is universal and will suit absolutely everyone. But we have to admit that the possibilities of (zoo)psychology are not limitless and not everything can be changed. If you can't fix your issue, just try to build your life so that it stops being a problem.
epsilon_pegasi: (marbled cat portrait)
[personal profile] epsilon_pegasi
Trying to identify the essence of the marbled cat is like trying to identify the shape of smoke. Like smoke, the marbled cat is defined by its ever-changing, paradoxical shifting form. The marbled cat is smoke in shape, having traits of both the large and small felines. For a long time it was a loss to find where in the gene classification it belonged. A cat made of the pieces of other cats.

Subtle and unseen but striking to behold, the marbled cat has many traits unlike other felines entirely, making it both feline and other-than-feline in essence and form. The full zygomatic arch of the skull, the long canine teeth which are remnants of another time, combined with their own recent adaptations of smallness, a tail the length of the body, an arched back, and a coat pattern unique to the species, make the marbled cat a creature of its own design. Indefinable, it undulates between past and future, large and small feline.

The marbled cat may curl its tail in a circle when sitting and holds it parallel to the spine and upwards when moving, never letting it fall lower or touch the ground. The tail is a most important appendage, more than claws, or teeth, it is necessary for movement in the treetops, necessary for the agility and balancing abilities that allows this cat to capture it's life's blood. An acrobat with its baton.

The spine is supple as oiled sinew. Arched, then contorting, curving, forming to the shape of the branch it stands on. It's like a young green sapling itself, strong enough to hold the fruit but flexible enough to bend to the strongest wind. The back legs are longer than the front, looking clumsily made of mismatched parts when on the ground. Paws are large and toes conform to every nook in the branch, pads feeling the shape and roughness underneath, claws keeping the contact. Legs muscles made for springing, balancing branch to branch. Form shifting from round crouch to straight leap, sleek in body, light, formless.

Each cat has their own unique coat pattern that can vary more wildly between individuals than in any other cat species. Each is like a quilt made of parts of other fabrics. Mottled down the spine, spotted on the legs, marbled down the sides, rosetted on the shoulder, striped on the face, running random down the tail. But always soft, thick, tongue rough against the plush.

The marbled cat perceives the world mainly through sight and touch. Large eyes capture every light. Movement fascinating to behold, shadows and sparks of bright through the branches giving definition to the forms it will chase. Cheeks rub against bark to define boundaries. Whiskers feeling every twig and leaf brush past with a tingling pressure on the cheeks. Scent is a signature. Sounds give shape to the unseen.

The marbled cat energy is intense and subtle, sweet and spicy, easy to see and impossible to behold. It cannot be captured, categorized, or caught in a grasp. It deludes touch, defies shape, a substance that is everything and nothing. In-between here and there. It is said to be a ghost.
citrakayah: (watching)
[personal profile] citrakayah
Disclaimer: This essay relies quite a bit on my hindsight and memory. Both, unless one is a robot, are often very flawed, even if they are the only hindsight and memory I can make use of for this purpose. Do kindly keep that in mind when reading.

Also, this may border what the spirit of the group says should be posted here; if so someone tell me and I'll delete it.

---

citrakayah: (Default)
[personal profile] citrakayah
(This was written back in July 2011. I might go back and modify it someday, but not today. Today, I'll merely post it here.)

Motionless )
feralkiss: Clouded leopard walking up to the viewer, intense look and tongue licking its lips. (lookup)
[personal profile] feralkiss
I finally finished my tentative essay about clouded leopards in South-East Asia in relation to other feline folklore. It's a bit long so I'm afraid of crossposting it too much, so instead I will direct you to the Beyond Awakening entry for reading, as well as my own website if you're more comfortable with light fonts on dark backgrounds (as I am). Feel free to comment on either blog for further discussion!

I also have another essay from earlier this year that I still need to post outside of my private journal, as I had mostly forgotten to do so, but it'll wait a little more so that you can have the time to comment if you feel inclined to do so without being too overwhelmed by my ramblings. ;)
feralkiss: Clouded leopard walking up to the viewer, intense look and tongue licking its lips. (lookup)
[personal profile] feralkiss
Edit: Totally unrelated to the essay shared here, but feel free to introduce yourself and post your own writings of course! I'm posting more of my own stuff as a mean to encourage others to write more, it feels a bit intimidating being the only DW poster so far. ^^'

This place is about you and your experiences, and of course you don't have to enter the sort of lengthy somewhat-scholary ramblings that follows below. Use the style that suits you, talk about what makes sense to you (or what doesn't and why), share your ponderings with us!

I'm still available by private message if there is any issue or question regarding this place.

***

[This is the improved version of a writing I shared in my journal recently; I may tweak it a bit more before putting it up on my site, but here goes! It's a bit long but hopefully you'll find it as interesting as some others have. It mixes animality with others aspects such as integrity and social issues, I guess.]

This is about animality, especially feline animality or felinity, as well as ethics. Mostly it is about how they intersect, and pondering over integrity and social issue as an animal-person and my own self-realizations. The following is a collection of thoughts that were gestating since 2005 but that I finally developped during the year of 2010.

There is no definite conclusions that I draw, more like a pattern I sense through the prism of my personal experience as a trans and animal-person. Of course there is a part of criticism in this writing, especially self-criticism, but this essay is more like a tool for self-awareness, to reflect on what makes us who and what we are. How I processed these realizations was non-linear and made possible because of the specific experiences and teaching I went through, so I'll try to give you a bit of context.

Read more... )
[identity profile] sonne-windsoul.livejournal.com
I finally got this essay finished, even though I had planned to start and finish it a few weeks ago.  There's the potential for me to eventually add some more to it (in the copy I'll have on my site), particularly in the cat and horse sections, if I should later on decide to include any other aspects or experiences that seem relevant which I didn't cover in it at this point.

What I am

Mar. 31st, 2008 03:47 pm
[identity profile] wampus-cat.livejournal.com
My personal animalness essay. A work in progress. Feel free to leave comments or questions about anything in it, or anything I haven't covered.

Humanimal )

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Animal Quills

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Animal Quills is a creative community for animal-people to share and discuss their written works. Over a hundred essays are archived here (many of which in locked entries). We focus on the concrete "here and now" experience of being animal inside, and other related musings (see our About page if you want to post).

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