Date: 2013-06-05 09:14 pm (UTC)
epsilon_pegasi: (giraffe: portrait)
From: [personal profile] epsilon_pegasi
I agree with the above posters that the addition of more unglamorous things adds to the piece, and I also like the addition of more experiential stuff. I went back and glanced at the previous version for comparison, and I do think you succeeded in what you sought to do with the changes you made. I still really like this writing, and I hope it gets included in the therian writings project, it'd be nice to see a deer represented there.
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Animal Quills

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Animal Quills is a creative community for animal-people to share and discuss their written works. Over a hundred essays are archived here (many of which in locked entries). We focus on the concrete "here and now" experience of being animal inside, and other related musings (see our About page if you want to post).

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