Winged Theropod Essay

[sonne-windsoul.livejournal.com]

For a brief background regarding this essay, I recently came to admitting to myself and to others online that I have an extinct theriotype (winged theropod) as my fourth theriotype.  The initial writing on it is on my site, and I also have another essay ("Designing a Theriotype") about some of the process of determining the specifics of what that animal "looks like", and thus what may have been the closest recognized categories of theropods and proto-avians that, if it existed, it would likely have been related to (or would be classified under one of those categories); or if I'm fortunate, to actually identify the specific genus or species of it.  Another essay on this theriotype may eventually be written at some point (I'm composing a list already of subjects I would like to cover in it) to describe more of what it is like for me to be it.  Also, the term "erdenvogel" I use to refer to this theriotype basically means 'earth-bird' in German (I would have gone with the German translation for 'ground-bird' instead but didn't prefer it), to denote it being a primarily ground-dwelling, bird-like animal.

“On Wings of a Living Past”

 

I suppose some people would wonder and want to pose questions to me about what it is like to have an extinct theriotype, and to be honest, at this point I must say that I don’t know what it feels like to “be extinct” (therianthropically, of course). I, and thus my theropod theriotype, am quite alive and have no conception of “being extinct”, on top of the fact that for all the time I have recognized my fourth, avian-like theriotype, I didn’t until recently realize it was even an extinct animal (assuming it was a type of animal that really did exist, and it seems likely to have been one). The conception of ‘being extinct’ does not so much for me tie into the experience, as I’d imagine it probably wouldn’t anyway. Instead it ties into my perception, knowledge, and acceptance of being this animal therianthropically and eventually reaching a likely point of knowing that I never will nor ever can see this animal in actual photos (rather than just artistic depictions), see video or hear audio of it, or read information from ethologists on its behaviors, among other details. So far I know this is the reality of my situation, yet I don’t think it’s really set in much emotionally.

 

However, I will say that as odd and new of a realization as this is for me, that non-therian otherkin in general often have to deal with a similar feeling, and probably many of them to a heightened extent, as they live with being animals that either never existed at all, didn’t exist on Earth, or didn’t exist on this plane of existence—some feeling extinct on top of that. Relatively speaking to that, my feelings may remain comparatively mild, though I won’t try to make blanket assumptions on whose feelings are the most warranted for knowing oneself is, in some way, a type of creature that will never be captured in photos, video, audio, or zoological texts except through the use of aesthetics and fiction. In some way, it sort of ties me together a little more to non-therian otherkin, in experience and perception of our ‘kintypes (rather than online community aspects), like I am one of the examples of a branching between most [extant] theriotypes and fantastical ‘kintypes, possibly similar in part to that of gryphons and dragons (though they are on the fantastical (or at least, non-Earth creature) side of the branching point and my extinct theriotype is on the therianthropy side).

 

( essay continued under cut )