Representation of an is.
Aug. 10th, 2007 08:27 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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animal_quills(Representation of the Self)
Well.. It's written now, and painting homework calls.
I hesitate to write about this particular topic, for the reason that even though I selected it (I was greatly interested in others' responses) the deal of thinking I've done since "Representation of Self" was selected as one of August's prompts -lucky birthday month prompt?- I feel quite utterly not sure about how to approach it. But, since it is my birthday in a bit, and I'm feeling lucky, holiday-relaxed, and listening to good music, I felt I'd give it a go... (And get stuck?)
As an animal person, everything down not my chosen name of Fleetfoot, is a representation of how I view myself. I in fact gave no conscious though as to coming up with a name: it just did, and matched.. -as far as a little girl could make it match all these years ago. It is not ill-fitting, and could have been just another internet alias, but no. Now, there's so much more behind this identity, this representation of what Fleetfoot is.
There are many accomplishments that are within the identity of this particular kit.
I represent myself as an artist by the work I do, the work I don't get around to doing, and what I learn. The majority of the ideas that flit through my head are unrepresented and (sadly) never go anywhere but my head and my blurbbook. It is therefore excruciatingly difficult for me to represent this animal, this almost feral side of me that will never be tamed, and this purring calin side, an d take these into a physical representation. Read computer, canvas, paper, whatever I work on..
I know full well what my fox looks like in my dreams, and I have given her a sort of fit-full paper identity. (In the way that photos of myself look utterly wrong, the paper identity doesn't quite match what is a part of me. -I hate to use the word part. Even that doesn't fit.)
I've dreamed her/him of fox, smelt, felt, and know it as much as I know myself, which, as a young girl of sixteen isn't very elaborate, and is something that does grow. I do try to draw only the necessary of my eccentricities, and each and every representation that I -inside- feel I know so well, always comes out different and different, and different again. Hell, I even draw this fox as a female, when within myself (regardless of physicalities) I feel somewhat androgynous. it is just to match what I look like on the outside, but inside, it's a mix (balanced, perhaps) of both. As far as I know it could be that fox is man and I am woman, or it could also be because of past lives, I don't know(!) and it is very complicatedly frustrating because of these undiscovered unknowns.
Well.. Fleetfoot is already created and on the internet, writing things that could be changed withing the next while, and Fleetfoot's already creating her-him-self onto paper, so as far as I know, it is, and will be thus. The one on paper is a collectivity of bits that have happened -wolf, fox, red, gray, characters, and so on- and shall have little chance of matching anything real, but, as they say, isn't the artist the God of what happens in their painting?
Well.. It's written now, and painting homework calls.
I hesitate to write about this particular topic, for the reason that even though I selected it (I was greatly interested in others' responses) the deal of thinking I've done since "Representation of Self" was selected as one of August's prompts -lucky birthday month prompt?- I feel quite utterly not sure about how to approach it. But, since it is my birthday in a bit, and I'm feeling lucky, holiday-relaxed, and listening to good music, I felt I'd give it a go... (And get stuck?)
As an animal person, everything down not my chosen name of Fleetfoot, is a representation of how I view myself. I in fact gave no conscious though as to coming up with a name: it just did, and matched.. -as far as a little girl could make it match all these years ago. It is not ill-fitting, and could have been just another internet alias, but no. Now, there's so much more behind this identity, this representation of what Fleetfoot is.
There are many accomplishments that are within the identity of this particular kit.
I represent myself as an artist by the work I do, the work I don't get around to doing, and what I learn. The majority of the ideas that flit through my head are unrepresented and (sadly) never go anywhere but my head and my blurbbook. It is therefore excruciatingly difficult for me to represent this animal, this almost feral side of me that will never be tamed, and this purring calin side, an d take these into a physical representation. Read computer, canvas, paper, whatever I work on..
I know full well what my fox looks like in my dreams, and I have given her a sort of fit-full paper identity. (In the way that photos of myself look utterly wrong, the paper identity doesn't quite match what is a part of me. -I hate to use the word part. Even that doesn't fit.)
I've dreamed her/him of fox, smelt, felt, and know it as much as I know myself, which, as a young girl of sixteen isn't very elaborate, and is something that does grow. I do try to draw only the necessary of my eccentricities, and each and every representation that I -inside- feel I know so well, always comes out different and different, and different again. Hell, I even draw this fox as a female, when within myself (regardless of physicalities) I feel somewhat androgynous. it is just to match what I look like on the outside, but inside, it's a mix (balanced, perhaps) of both. As far as I know it could be that fox is man and I am woman, or it could also be because of past lives, I don't know(!) and it is very complicatedly frustrating because of these undiscovered unknowns.
Well.. Fleetfoot is already created and on the internet, writing things that could be changed withing the next while, and Fleetfoot's already creating her-him-self onto paper, so as far as I know, it is, and will be thus. The one on paper is a collectivity of bits that have happened -wolf, fox, red, gray, characters, and so on- and shall have little chance of matching anything real, but, as they say, isn't the artist the God of what happens in their painting?
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Date: 2007-08-11 12:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-11 05:26 pm (UTC)Thanks
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