Home

[faileas-grey.livejournal.com]

Home! sorry if its late/not up to my usual stuff, i haven't written in ages especially since my webbie went down/kaput. I realise its quite more about what *isn't* home than what is, but is suppose what isn't defines something as much as what is

Home

Home means different things to different parts of me, and in different contexts.Most people have a concept of "homeland" or motherland. Nearly thirty/forty years after he left, and despite not having gone back there, my dad still considers jaffna (where he grew up) "home" and since there's a war going on there, will probably end up retireing to india somewhere. Home can be a place, or a memory of it, like Mom still considers the small town she spent maybe 4-5 years of her life, and where her parents were supposed to have retired to running a coffee estate before they were scammed as home.

Well, I've never really liked the place i grew up in,all tall buildings and artfully placed greens that never really felt right. The house i spent most of my life is a 99 year lease, and i'm quite sure at some point in my lifetime it'll get taken over and a soulessly designed standardised 25 story building will be replaced by something tacky and even more souless.I suppose i'm a nomad soul, knowing that home is *somewhere* and figureing that if i wander around enough (well i intend to if i can at least), i'll find a place the human part of me finds comfortable.

The rest of me is a little more certain though. The angelic part of me vaguely remembers a place with people *like* whatever i was, and it seemed kinda medival villageish,though its not quite the 'furniture' that mattered but that people openly and honestly seemed to care for each other, and everyone *knew* everyone else- something i feel that most places i've lived in lack. Home to me is in part not about the concrete, and the mortar, but about people.

The wolf part of me is the only part thats quite sure.Home is probably somewhere northish, with tall fat arrow straight anchient trees, so tall i can't see the tops, and while not dense at all, covered in a mottled layer of green moss.The ground is a mottled mix of green plants, though no obvious grass and white,and soft, and air is cold and sharp,the sorta air thats both alive, and makes you *feel* alive.There's no obvious water features (which bothers me, since if i could get to one, i'd be able to answer quite a few questions, appearancewise). While most of the time i don't see others (wolves) there, their feeling-smell-sense (its a rather clumsy word-complex but it fits best) is there all over, and likewise while its quiet, its also 'noisy' with the sense of life, growth, and all the noises you don't hear, but you quite literally feel.

Comments

[faileas-grey.livejournal.com]

http://lupinenet.co.uk/Gallery/main.php/v/SNOW/08feb07+017.jpg.html kinda describes what i mean by "The ground is a mottled mix of green plants" it IS grass but dosen't look it, or something like that, i'm used to tropical grass ;p

[faileas-grey.livejournal.com]

sorry for the multimedianess (i think in pictures and feelings, and this showed a point pretty well), but its roughly the sorta trees in the video, though smaller (1/2- 3/4 a wolf's body length at most) which i meant http://www.kirchersociety.org/blog/?p=1225

[aloiis.livejournal.com]

That's great to have you sharing your thoughts and posting here Faileas, but actually I don't think you ever introduced yourself and some people may not remember you from the boards, if they ever read them, and may not know who you are and "where you come from" in terms of perspective/identity. You are free to edit your entry and add some bit of info about you and what you identify with. ^^ (I can't find your intro but if you did post one, sorry then. I don't see it listed in the Summary page.)

"it seemed kinda medival villageish,though its not quite the 'furniture' that mattered but that people openly and honestly seemed to care for each other, and everyone *knew* everyone else- something i feel that most places i've lived in lack."

With "medieval" and what you described, do you actually mean "traditional", "tight-knit" communities (vs what you've known urban for most of your life in Singapore)?

[faileas-grey.livejournal.com]

its really faint. I suppose there's reasons why i don't remember too much(i'm still piecing together, what its all about and trying to make sense of it), but i kinda have faint "memories" of a place with other winged folk. it was quite literally medieval villagish, i remember a blacksmith lady mainly for some reason, but its more the *feeling* of the place that i remember than people actually there. I had the sense that everyone there knew everyone else.

Singapore is the polar opposite, something about living in flats, by putting people close together they feel further apart

I suppose i do have to do a intro, i'll get on it in a bit ;p

[aloiis.livejournal.com]

I heard you. I was only asking, does it feel medieval because it feels like a tight-knit community, of because, well, it feels like what looked like the medieval era. That said, past lives are not exactly part of my beliefs, or not in the form it seem to take for most people. ^^

[aloiis.livejournal.com]

*what looked like the medieval area here

So in other words, do you call is medieval because of the tight-knit community feel or because of the historical/surrounding/people specific to what is our medieval time feel.

[faileas-grey.livejournal.com]

i remember there was a blackmith lady in a leather apron, i get this feeling it a bunch of cottages surrounded by hills, not very large ones, surrounded by fields.it wasn't very high tech, no real roads, horse drawn carriages and stuff.

other than that, i seem to have a block on memories/don't remember much else, other than my other spirit guide - who's supposed to be from there(while she'd be willing to help, i wouldn't trust anything i didn't find myself, and we both know that). Meditation dosen't quite work in this context cause there's some other things i'd rather not remember mixed in with the memories